5 Things I Wish I Knew About Newborns When I Was Pregnant

Why Your Baby Is Biologically Wired to Need You

When you’re pregnant, so much of the focus is on birth. But very little prepares you for what comes next.

Because the truth no-one talks about is, that newborns aren’t just tiny humans who sleep, feed and fit neatly into your life.

They are completely dependent, deeply instinctive, and biologically wired for connection with YOU.

Here are 5 things I really wish I’d known about newborns before becoming a parent…

1. Your baby doesn’t know they are separate from you

For nine months, your baby has been held, fed, comforted and regulated by your body.

To them, you are home.

So when they’re born, they don’t suddenly think:

“Ah yes, I am now an independent human.”

They still expect:

• your warmth

• your heartbeat

• your smell

• your presence

This is why your baby settles best on you, why they sleep more deeply when held, why they cry when put down.

It’s not a “bad habit” (please never let anyone make you think this!) ..it’s biology.

2. Crying is communication, not manipulation

Newborns don’t cry to test you, manipulate you, or “get used to being picked up”.

They cry because it’s their only way of saying:

• “I’m hungry”

• “I’m tired”

• “I feel uncomfortable”

• “I need closeness”

Responding to your baby doesn’t “spoil” them.

It teaches them:

“I am safe. My needs are met.”

That sense of safety is what allows them to grow into confident, secure children later on.

3. Your baby needs help regulating their nervous system

Newborns can’t calm themselves down.

They rely on something called co-regulation, which means your calm helps regulate them.

This looks like:

• holding them close

• skin-to-skin contact

• gentle movement

• your voice

Your presence literally helps their body settle.

This is why things like:

• contact naps

• babywearing

• feeding to sleep

…are not “crutches”.

They are tools rooted in biology and our instinctive way of parenting.

4. Sleep won’t look like you expect (and that’s normal)

Many parents are surprised by how unpredictable newborn sleep is.

But biologically, this makes sense.

Frequent waking:

• supports feeding

• protects against deep sleep risks

• keeps baby close to you

Newborns are not designed to:

• sleep long stretches

• self-settle independently

• follow a routine

Understanding this can take away so much pressure.

Instead of wondering:

“Why isn’t my baby sleeping properly?”

You can see:

“This is what normal looks like.”

5. You already have instincts...they just need trusting

One of the biggest surprises for many parents is this:

You often know what your baby needs...you feel it!

But it can be hard to trust that instinct in a world full of:

• conflicting advice (cheers social media!)

• rigid routines

• pressure to do things a certain way

Parenting can feel simpler, calmer, and more connected, when you come back to:

• your baby

• your body

• your instincts

It took me three babies to learn this, and I really wish someone told me this during my first pregnancy!

So what does this mean for you?

It means that your baby isn’t trying to make things difficult.

They’re doing exactly what they’re designed to do.

And you? You are exactly what they’re designed to need.

Preparing for More Than Just Birth

As an antenatal teacher, this is something I care deeply about in my work.

Because whilst birth preparation is so important…feeling confident in those early days with your baby matters just as much.

That’s why I’ve recently introduced my Baby Confidence Sessions alongside into my Full Antenatal Package, designed to help you:

• understand your baby’s behaviour

• feel confident with practical newborn care

• trust your instincts

• approach those early weeks with calm  and connection

So you’re not just preparing for birth, but for everything that comes after.

Final Thoughts

If there’s one thing I’d want every parent-to-be to know, it’s this:

You don’t need to “fix” your baby. You just need to understand them.

And when you do, everything begins to feel a little bit easier and joyful!

Learn more in our Full Antenatal Package (Hypnobirthing + Newborn Care) to feel calm, confident and connection as you prepare for birth and life with your baby, in the way biology intended. 

Book before 5th April to get your Baby Confidence sessions included for FREE (worth £39).

Laura xx